I don’t want to go so far as to say that I’m gonna blow your mind with this article. But… I’m gonna blow your mind with this article. That’s right. I’m gonna answer some entertaining but age-old questions that mankind has been pondering for eons, epochs, centuries, and millennia.
You know the questions I’m talking about. We all have ‘em. It doesn’t matter if your IQ is above 160. You still have unanswered questions. Yes, even you, Chuck. Don’t think that you know everything and are exempt to what I’m talking about. You have questions too.
Well... take comfort in knowing that those irritating inquiries that your mind just won’t quit asking will finally fall by the wayside, leaving you once and for all, a blissful laid back Jack (even if your name is Steve) Come on. Laugh. That was kinda funny, right? Laid back Jack when your name is Steve.
Here at SpiritHoods, we want to help shed some light on those vexing inquiries. We recognize that being occupied with recurring thoughts can be pretty much like a hamster on a wheel. And whilst we love hamsters cause they’re so cute and adorable. Awwww. And wheels are no doubt one of the coolest and most convenient of inventions. Duh. We recognize that the combo of the two can have serious disadvantages.
Because, whilst we may not be performing brain surgery, we understand that sometimes in order to live a quality life, we need to clear our noggins of unnecessary questions and just step off the proverbial "hamster wheel."
Questions such as:
“Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?”
They are fruits that are considered vegetables by nutritionists. But botanically speaking, it's a ripened flower ovary that contains seeds.
“Is it a turtle or a tortoise?”
Turtles live in water and tortoises live on land. And not all turtles are tortoises. But all tortoises are turtles. Mind… Blown.
“What’s the difference between Red Vines and Twizzlers?”
Whilst both may be candy and considered licorice, Red Vines are chewy and easily breakable with a subtle sweet, nondescript berry flavor. And Twizzlers are considerably more gelatinous once chewed, often adhering to the teeth and have an unmistakable sweet strawberry taste and aroma.
“Is cement and concrete the same thing?”
No, they’re not. Cement is a binding agent made from limestone and clay. Concrete is a building material that is created by combining cement, water, sand, and rock.
“What’s the difference between a graveyard and a cemetery?”
A graveyard is attached to a church and a cemetery is not.
“Why do they call it a firefly when it's neither a fly nor fire, but a beetle?”
Who knows? Next question.
“Why are banana trees called trees, when they’re an herb?”
Because they’re trying to fuck with us.
“Why is it called an English horn when it's NOT English and it's NOT a horn, but rather A FRENCH ALTO OBOE?!?!
People are crazy and will say all sorts of things.
“Why do they call it shortbread, when it's not bread, but rather a thick cookie?”
Read my above answer.
“Why is it called a lead pencil if it contains graphite and zero lead?”
Two words: Gas and lighting.
“Which bone makes up the funny bone?”
None. It's the spot on the backside of your arm (that only a few people can lick) where the ulnar nerve touches the humerus. You just tried to lick your elbow didn’t you?
“Why do they call it a horny toad, when it's neither horny nor a toad, but rather a lizard?”
Ooops my bad. It's a horned toad, not a horny toad. Someone has her mind in the gutter.
“What’s the difference between a remote and a clickah (clicker)?"
If you’re from New England, then it's obviously a clickah. Only an undignified person would call it a remote. GO RED SOX!
“What’s the difference between a pocketbook and a purse?”
Again, everyone knows that it’s a pocketbook! What kind of person says purse???? Now leave me alone cuz I need to focus while I pahk my cah at the packie to grab some bee-ah to go with my brown bread and beans. Shit. I can’t find my cah keys. Oh nevah mind. They’re in the pockets of my cah-khi’s. What? You think you’re bettah than me?
NOW... on to the most important question of your life…
What’s the difference between a men’s coat and a woman’s coat?
What a great question. And it just so happens to be the point of this entire article. Did it take a minute to get here? Sure it did. But was it worth it? Absolutely. I’m pleased as punch that you’ve read this far. Because now…I’m about ready to razzle dazzle you.
Here at SpiritHoods, we have one REALLY BIG distinction between a men’s and a women’s coat. Are you all ready for it? Okay…here it is.
If you’re wearing one of our coats and you identify as a person from the female persuasion, then the coat is a woman’s coat!
If you’re wearing one of our coats and you identify as a person from the male persuasion, then the coat is a man’s coat!
It’s as simple as that.
My job is done.
Mic. Has. Been. Dropped.
Minds. Have. Been. Blown.
Lives. Have. Been. Changed.
YOU ARE WELCOME.
Nothing will ever be the same. Ever.
But since I’m feeling a little spunky (and I need to get my word count up a bit) let me explain some major differences between most men’s and women’s coats that aren’t ours. I know, I know. The other coats are gonna be a far cry from our wild and all gender inclusive gorgeous ultra soft faux furs. But I will do my best at answering the question.
Now, I do want to say that it is important to note that these differences are based on traditional gender specific fashion norms. They do not represent our thoughts on fashion. And it is also important to point out that there is a growing trend in unisex or gender-neutral clothing that challenges these traditional conventions. Some people may prefer to wear coats that align with their individual style and comfort rather than adhering to any gender-specific designs. We see and celebrate you!
Here at SpiritHoods we love to take fashion risks and push the boundaries a bit. And we are excited by how much fashion is evolving and embracing a more whimsical feel to clothing. Which is why we offer a wide range of sizes to accommodate diverse preferences and body shapes. We want to bring out your inner animal and support you as you fearlessly express yourself. So throw on your faux furs and ROAR like the lion or lioness you are!
Customer Photo: @margaretcopeland
Now back to the question about the difference between men’s and women’s coats.
Traditionally, the buttons on a men’s coat are on the right. While the buttons on a women’s coat are on the left.
And the reason why this is so, is because buttons first appeared in the 17th Century. And when they did, they were reserved only for the wealthy. And what did wealthy people have in the 17th Century that poor people didn’t? You guessed it! People that dressed them. Why would the wealthy waste their precious time and button their own buttons?! They wouldn’t! That’s crazy talk.
And assuming that most people are right-handed, the buttons on women’s clothing, including their coats, were sewn on the left so that someone else could fasten them. And since it was mostly women that had people who buttoned them up, because their clothing was a bit more intricate, the buttons were placed on the side that was easiest for the person doing the buttoning. After all, the wealthy weren’t completely thoughtless.
But all SpiritHoods coats have buttons placed on the left. So go ahead! Indulge in a professional button-upperer. You deserve to not have to button your own buttons.
Another difference is the pocket size between men’s and women’s coats. Men’s coats traditionally have larger pockets, while women’s coats traditionally have faux pockets or much smaller ones. But a SpiritHoods coat has nice deep pockets. Literally not figuratively. I just want to be clear that you’re not gonna find a bunch of Benjamins in our pockets. That’s the wrong kind of deep. But what you are gonna find is a secret stash pocket on the inside of our lining where you can hide your own Benjamins. And most of our coats have two cozy comfortable front pockets for your paws.
Color and Pattern
And the last differences that I’d like to discuss are color and pattern.
Traditionally, men’s coats feature more neutral and muted colors and are less likely to include bold patterns. While women’s coats come in a wide variety of colors, including pastels and vibrant hues. They also tend to offer a broader range of patterns and prints.
At SpiritHoods, that’s all thrown out the window. We believe in painting the world pretty, one unisex coat at a time.
And whether you’re a lady or a man, a donkey or a mule, a kangaroo or a wallaby, a possum or an opossum as long as you have a flair for the dramatic and a fun-loving spirit, we have just the right coat for you.
Now go use your opposable thumbs and send us pictures at #SpiritHoods of your fabulous selves all bundled up in your SpiritHoods faux fur coats. We want to share them with everyone!